I'm Not That Girl
by whohastoknow
Summary: Kagome believes that Inuyasha has chosen Kikyo. She returns to modern times to try to accept the fact that she's not the one he loves and discovers something quite surprising.........A songfic to "I'm Not That Girl" from the musical 'Wicked'. InuyashaKago


I'm Not That Girl  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, nor do I own the song "I'm Not That Girl" from the musical 'Wicked'.  
  
Author's Note: I vowed a long time ago that I would NEVER do a song fic. There are so many songs out there that are great for song fics, and everyone seems to do the same one. And they seem so hard to write. I've tried a couple times, and they were too horrible to even reread, not to mention post. So...yeah. That's about it. Review, please!  
  
Author's Second Note: Okay, this is the seventh time I've tried to post this damn fic! The gods must hate me. I post it, and then I find something I don't like about it and take it down again. Or it just doesn't work. This is as close to angst as I can do, people! Somehow my angst fics always turn out happy...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hands touch, eyes meet  
  
Sudden silence, sudden heat  
  
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl  
  
He could be that boy  
  
But I'm not that girl  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome blinked away tears as she watched Inuyasha walk slowly to Kikyo from her hiding place behind a shrub. She had seen him leave, and had followed him, knowing that he was meeting the undead priestess. He was so wrapped up in meeting Kikyo that he hadn't even noticed the young miko following him.  
  
She regretted coming when Kikyo stepped up to the hanyou and took him in her cold embrace. The rush of feelings she got when he returned the gesture was astounding. Did she really care for him that much?  
  
Yes, she knew she did. She got a rush of sensation whenever she caught him looking at her, or when he protected her from the various youkai they always fought. What hurt was that she knew he felt the same-just not for her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Don't dream too far  
  
Don't lose sight of who you are  
  
Don't remember that rush of joy  
  
He could be that boy  
  
I'm not that girl  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome backed out of the shrub slowly. It was too painful to watch him holding a woman who would never again be among the living. Didn't he realize that he was giving up his whole life for a woman whose touch was cold and unfeeling? She didn't even love him...  
  
Kagome began the trek to the well. It was time to go home. Isn't that what she always did in this situation? Run to somewhere where she could forget about the enchanting hanyou with the long silver hair and the expressive amber eyes? She tried to run from her feelings for him.  
  
It never worked.  
  
She couldn't forget him. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that she should.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Every so often we long to steal  
  
To the land of What-Might-Have-Been  
  
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
  
When reality sets back in  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
She sometimes fantasized about him. She would dream that he would turn to her, smiling that rare smile, and sweep her off her feet. He would swear that he would always protect her and that he would do anything for her.  
  
And she would gladly swear it in return.  
  
In a way, she already had sworn that she would do anything for him. It was painful to stay with him, in the Feudal Era, knowing that it would all end in time. And yet she always came back. For him. She was throwing away the prime, and perhaps the rest, of her life for him. Because she was in love with him. And because she wanted him to be in love with her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Blithe smile, lithe limb  
  
She who's winsome, she wins him  
  
Gold hair with a gentle curl  
  
That's the girl he chose  
  
And Heaven knows  
  
I'm not that girl  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome sat on her bed, angrily wiping away the tears that she finally allowed to fall. Why would Inuyasha possibly want her when he had Kikyo? Kikyo was prettier, and cleverer, and more talented. She could protect herself, and she wasn't always in the way. Kagome hadn't a chance in hell against Kikyo.  
  
There was so much difference between them it was amazing to Kagome that anyone had figured out their connection. Everyone said that Kagome looked like Kikyo, and sometimes Kagome wished she did. Maybe then Inuyasha would notice her. Maybe then he would see her as more than a shard detector.  
  
Kagome laughed bitterly, tears soaking her pillow. Maybe she should just accept the offers Hojo and Kouga were extending to her. At least they would respect her...why did she have to fall for the man who didn't love her back?  
  
Behind her, the window slid silently open.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
She spun around with a gasp. She hadn't expected him to follow her. Why wasn't he with his precious Kikyo? Had he really come to see her?  
  
He looked so pitiful standing there. His eyes held sorrow and something else that Kagome couldn't recognize.  
  
Love? Sorrow? Regret?  
  
He walked slowly to the younger girl and joined her in sitting on the bed. He cradled her face in his calloused hand and she unwillingly stared into those gorgeous amber eyes, faintly wondering why he was getting clay all over her bedspread. She decided that she didn't really care.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Don't wish, don't start  
  
Wishing only wounds the heart  
  
I wasn't born for the rose and earl  
  
There's a girl I know  
  
He loves her so  
  
I'm not that girl...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"What are you doing here, Inuyasha?"  
  
"I came to talk to you."  
  
She awoke from the trance that he had put her in and jerked away. "And why, exactly, do you want to talk to me? Go talk to your precious Kikyo!"  
  
"I killed her."  
  
She whirled around, glaring at him fiercely. Tears shone brightly in her brown eyes. "Don't give me that crap, Inuya...," she faltered as his words sunk in. "Wait, what did you say?"  
  
He gazed at the bedspread. "I killed her. That woman wasn't Kikyo. She was a clay pot that held no emotion, no warmth, no love. Come to think of it, I don't think she ever loved me. I don't think we ever loved each other. It was only the NEED to be loved that drew us close."  
  
He looked up at her and Kagome was alarmed by the amount of emotion he held in his eyes.  
  
"You love me, don't you?" She could only nod.  
  
In one fluid movement he was standing before her.  
  
"I love you too. I have since the moment I first saw you. I was just too stubborn to admit it...I was in denial. Now I know that what I feel for you really is love, and love for Kagome, not Kikyo's reincarnation. You are a completely different woman, one who accepts me for who I am. Aishite'ru, Kagome."  
  
She was stunned. She knew he wasn't lying to her or tricking her, and that's what made it so hard to believe. She stood on her toes and touched his lips to her in a chaste but passionate kiss.  
  
"Aishite'ru, Inuyasha."  
  
Author's Ending Note: Wow, I didn't expect THAT. Please review and help my pitifully low self-confidence? And thanks to Kai-Aki Ti for helping me with the Japanese....I don't know what the hell I'd do without you, Emi-chan! *huggles* 


End file.
